Our primary relationships are by their nature very complex, and yet we usually live in them as though they are simple. So many levels of needs, desires, and meanings are played out in relationship, often without a great deal of awareness. This lack of awareness limits the opportunity for experiencing our relationships as deeply satisfying as they can be.
Without awareness, difficulties seem to arise from nowhere and often feel impenetrable and unchangeable. The frustration and/or sense of being trapped which result can produce a great deal of fear, sadness, or anger. These emotions then can seem to take on a life of their own, becoming the dominant mode of relating. Or, in trying to avoid these emotions, the relationship becomes a relatively emotionless taking care of household duties.
One way forward from this impasse lies through increasing awareness. By opening up your awareness of your own experience and that of your partner, you can expand your options at every moment. This can result in your taking actions to transform feelings of powerlessness into an experience of fulfillment.
Whether the impasse you are at results from carryover from earlier experiences in life, conflicts between how you are living and who you are, or conflicts between your needs and the needs of others, increased awareness provides the ground for moving beyond the stuck place.
In addition to responding to the particular problem or issue which may bring you to couples counseling, the emphasis in our work is to provide you with tools you can use throughout your relationship. These tools include being able to:
- Listen more accurately to each other's communication
- Communicate what you have to say in a way your partner will be able to hear
- Know clearly what you want from your partner, and have clear agreements about how to get it
- Resolve conflicts as well as increase your tolerance for conflicts not yet resolved
The interactions resulting from the effective use of these tools are a rich experience of relationship contributing to fulfillment in life. Rather than being experienced as a limitation, your relationship becomes a way to further your growth.
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To arrange a free initial consultation call (207) 773-4413 or email
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